Today was beautiful outside! It might not have even been freezing. The snow has gradually been melting and this afternoon, Emily and I literally sat in the middle of the square in town absorbing the warm sun.
Earlier though, at peak sun-enjoying time, I went on a 4.5 mile run up to the base of a ski slope in Martin. It was a gradual uphill, 22 minute climb the whole way there. I wasn't running particularly fast, but it gave "uphill battle" a whole new meaning for me. After a break to look around up there, I started my decent with a 20 minute goal in mind. It was downhill, and despite my lower energy level, I should still be able to beat my time. I made it to my starting point in 16 minutes. This might be why:
The last half mile, "True Faith" came on my iPod shuffle that I was given 3 years ago by my aunts and uncles. Let me paint a picture. This day is sunny and warm (relatively speaking) and it's the first time I've been able to go on a distance run on solid cement. Since the snow was melting, the road was scattered with patches of ice or slushy water that I had to run through if I didn't want to risk my life in the middle of the street. I was warm and sweaty, but had been running at such a steady pace, that my breathing had regulated and I could sense the finish line. My pace was still average, but when the beginning of this song started, despite my rapid heart rate and the sun in my face, I got chills. The suddenness of it caught me off guard, but I let me body's reaction tell me something. I ran as if I intended to sprint the last .66 of a mile and listened to the words that unintentionally motivated me.
"I feel so extraordinary
Something's got a hold on me
I get this feeling I'm in motion
A sudden sense of liberty
...My morning sun is the drug that brings me near..."
Not only does the song have music to which to push yourself, but the lyrics meant something different to me today: I was running with such freedom! I am in a far, distant country running beside fields I can't see the end of and running toward a mountain that I live right under. When did I ever picture this to be my life?
It is liberty that sent me in motion, that started this journey for me. When I think of the grad school VS everything else decision coming up (if I'm admitted), it's strange to think that if I choose grad school, that's my decision for a year. Whereas, if I choose not grad school, then I get to/have to make decisions like - can I travel this summer? Or where will I work? And hopefully Oystein can visit Dallas. And then I'll work back in Martin in August? Not to say that grad school won't provoke decisions as well, but it still seems like the easy choice for now.
To be able to run outside and soak the sunlight in my pores as if I NEEDED it was freeing in itself. This morning sun IS my drug. I feel different on sunny days. Lately I have found myself daydreaming about Texas summers. There's not even much relief from the heat, but maybe that's what I want - heat that captures me! Living among months and months of deep winter has made me yearn for something often dreadful and unbearable. The sense of liberty is what has a hold on me. Although unsettled emotions and indecision accompany this freedom sometimes, it's not enough for me to change my lifestyle.
I feel extraordinary - for myself. My adventures are neither to make a statement nor prove something. Just as this run wasn't anything but an accomplishment for myself...I feel extraordinary for MY sake.
Please ignore the 80s inspiration in this video, but it's in case anyone wanted a peak at my inspiration for the day. What's yours?
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